October is almost over...

October is almost over...notice my festive orange coloring :)

I feel like I have accomplished just about...well...nothing. Well, I shouldn't say that...I gained a husband-to-be and I feel very excited about that. I guess this month was not a waste...all because of one man who decided that I was worth his heart.

:) I love him...


Oh my god...

...I'm going to be Mrs. Sara May Wagner...

O.O

Graduation Song

Maybe I'm turning into a band geek, but today we played the graduation song in band and it almost made me cry. I wish how simple high school was compared to college..:(

Oh well, it's almost over.

First College Concert

Well, tonight was my first ever college band concert. It was pretty cool...the band sounded completely awesome and it was hard to even hear myself think at some parts. Isaac drove all the way back from Potsdam just to see it, and is currently sleeping on my couch downstairs ^_^.

I think that Chubba and Weeny do not like each other. They just stare at each other constantly, like each one wishes that the other one would just hurry up and die so that they don't have to share a tank anymore. Chubba is pretty but Weeny is jealous I think, because she is not so pretty. Oh well. Vanity is a curse.

Well...I have to wake Isaac up early tomorrow morning so I better get some semblence of sleep.

:)

"Mona Lisa Smile"

I've been watching a movie called "Mona Lisa Smile" and I realized that I actually like it. I like the way that it flies in the face of all the conformities that have been placed on women for years.


Now that I say that, most likely in 15 years I will be doing Isaac's laundry, cooking his dinner, cleaning his home and raising his kids.


*sigh*

Now presenting...

Let's have a warm welcome for the newest members of my fish family, Chubba the Man Betta and Weeny the Woman Betta. Hopefully they will have fishy intercourse and produce some serious Chubba/Weeny babies, or else I just spent $5 for nothing.

HOLY ENGAGEMENT!

Okay...

As of October 23, 2004, Isaac and I are officially, and with the blessing of both sets of parents, engaged.

*explodes*

Quiz Stuff

You came from heaven. Your gole in life is to help
others and to make the world a better place.
Some call you weak, but in reality your soul is
very strong. If only more people were like
you...

Where did you come from?
brought to you by

*Sigh*

This one is going to be a long one, so if you don't have the time you may not want to read this.

*sigh* Where to begin? I guess that I've put off the truth for way too long, and the truth is that I'm lying to myself. I suppose that I want to believe that everyone thinks that I'm strong, and that I can fight my way out of everything...what I've realized is that the truth of the matter is, I'm only hurting myself in the process. Now that I try so hard to be tough, I've realized that I am starting to make myself emotionless, which is really starting to get in the way of my relationship with Isaac. Pretty unfortunate, but solvable, I think.
Then, now that I keep thinkng about it, I've realized that I am completely burnt out. Between working a full time job and going to school full time, I do not have any energy or patience left for anything. Granted, I do get a few hours to myself on Monday and Tuesday nights, but the rest of the week belongs to Adirondack Community College and the Roosevelt Mineral Baths and Spa. I wish that it wasn't that way but I guess that in order to get anywhere in life, sacrafices have to be made. I wish that the sacrafice wasn't my sanity.
Truthfully, I am also starting to wonder about my relationship with Isaac. We will not be able to really see each other or actually be truly together until he graduates from Clarkson University a little over 3 years from now. I know that it does not seem like a long time, but I miss him so much that I actually keep myself up at night crying because I need him...not as a boyfriend, but as my best friend. I miss having him around, I've spent so many years with him so close by and ready to be at my side if anything happened and vice versa that it is killing me to pick up the phone and realize that to get a hug from him would mean a 3 and 1/2 hour drive to Potsdam and an expensive hotel room. I suppose that it isn't too much but for the amount of hugs I've needed lately, I'm just not sure if a long distance relationship is really something that I can handle.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong here. Everytime I feel like I should just call Isaac and apologize for being stupid, or just call and find a new job somewhere less stressful, I realize that I can't, because that would mean I was admitting that I'm wrong. No one likes to believe that they've been wrong, but now that I do kind of realize it, I still don't want to correct it, I just want to be a complete moron. I suppose I'm doing a really good job, one of the few I've been accomplishing successfully lately, I guess.

Overall, it has been a truly crappy week and I'm hoping that it gets better soon, or I might explode.

*sigh*

Another Happy Day

I had a good day. It was fun and airy and pretty and wonderful.

*cough* Not.

I was so cold all day today I thought that my nose was going to actually grow icicles. Isaac ended up staying the night at my house last night, which was cool, and left early this morning after we ate some breakfast. (Sour cream and chive mashed potatoes for him, fried eggs with fried turkey ontop of toast for me) A good, healthy breakfast and he was off for college, never to be seen until...well...Friday...

I miss him. He bought me this really beautiful ring...it's white gold with a square emerald surrounded by two small diamonds. He's truly amazing and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him...

:)

Happy Thursday

IT'S ALMOST FRIDAY!!!

Which can only mean one thing...

It's almost time for me to see Isaac again...:)

I couldn't be happier unless I was there right now...which isn't going to happen, so I guess that I couldn't really be happier...^.^

*sigh* Right now...life is good.

:)

Wednesday

Well it's Wednesday...the day after tomorrow I will be driving up to see Isaac at Clarkson. :) I honestly cannot wait to see him.

Speaking of "The Day After Tomorrow", it proved to be an extremely long, but good, movie. I'd watch it again, although that was 2 hours of my life that I will never, ever be able to get back.

Ah, well. I'm going to get some sleep so I can wake up for 8 am psychology. *cringes*

Night ^-^

O.o

Going to see Isaac this weekend...not going into detail about anything though, it'll probably be taken out of context somehow. *smirks*

Anyway...over 3 hours and $300 later, I will be in Pottsdam with Isaac, finally able to get two seconds alone with him without someone asking one of us to run an errand. I am definitely not looking forward to the drive there and back, but I guess he's worth it...:)

I should probably go to class...*frowns* just about sick of this class thing...

Deleted the old one...

Apparently, I cannot trust my so called friends, namely Laura's boyfriend, Lowell. Thank you for running to my sister and telling her what I wrote in my blog, Lowell, it makes me feel great that I can trust you to be a complete moron and ruin my life. I hope that being such an idiot really makes you feel wonderful about yourself.

As you can see, since my confidence has been breached, I have decided to start over. Obviously, I am not allowed to vent on here, so instead, I will just write nice things so that when Lowell runs back to tell my sister, they'll have something happy to chat about.

Hope you're happy freak.